Hi, my name is Shannon Moule and I am a Clinical Psychologist. I am passionate about helping people reach their optimal mental and emotional wellbeing. In addition to my Masters in Clinical Psychology I have completed a number of training workshops in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness, including training under Russ Harris acclaimed author of “The Happiness Trap”. I also have extensive training and experience in other therapy modalities including Motivational Interviewing (MI) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I combine principles of MI, ACT, Mindfulness and CBT in an integrative approach with clients to help them achieve their optimal mental and emotional wellbeing.

What I have noticed over the last few years of practice is that many people come to me struggling with a reality gap, a gap between how they’d like things to be and how things actually are. Reality gaps are wide and varied but may include a death of a loved one, a diagnosis of a chronic or terminal illness, a loss of job, ending of a relationship, a financial loss, so on and so on.

When these reality gaps show up, people often experience varying degrees of difficult and often challenging emotions and thoughts. For example feelings such as anger, anxiety, sadness, loneliness and thoughts such as “what will my future hold” and “I am a failure” just to name a few.
Dr Russ Harris (2012), acclaimed author of “The Happiness Trap” and Acceptance and Commit-ment Therapy expert calls this response to a reality gap, a reality slap:

“Those moments when life suddenly deals us a painful blow. it’s a shock, and it hurts, and it knocks us off balance; we struggle to stay on our feet; and sometimes we fall.”

Sometime this slap is relatively minor and we are able to adjust and keep moving forward relatively quickly and other times the slap is hard and leaves us unable to move forward, essentially we are psychologically and probably behaviourally stuck.

The reality is, we are ill equipped to deal with these slaps. I don’t know about you, but when I was a young girl, I remember being taught how to take care of physical injuries, so when I scrapped my knee, mum put a bandaid on it, when I got burned, my mum ran water over the injury. However, what were we taught to do when we experienced emotional difficulties in life? Some of you may have been inadvertently taught to ignore our emotions by our parents telling you to “suck it up” or to “be strong” and you may have learned to use substances such as alcohol to release stress by watching your family do the same. Now this isn’t about blaming parents but to understand we haven’t been equipped with effective ways to deal with a reality gap in our lives.

Now some of these reality gaps can be closed and others can’t, but the good news is we can all learn how to respond to what shows up (i.e., difficult and challenging emotions and thoughts) while we are in amongst the reality of our gap, for as long as it exists. That’s where I come in, psychotherapy can assist you in finding ways to respond effectively to what is showing up in your gap so rather than getting stuck in the reality of your gap, you can learn new and effective ways to respond to your reality gap.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a reality gap of their own, please don’t hesitate to book an appointment to see me. You can find out how by visiting the Zest Infusion website at www.zestinfusion.com.au

Reference
Harris, R. (2012). The Reality Slap: Finding Peace and Fulfilment When Life Hurts. New Harbinger Publications: CA